Gno Gnu Pet Avenger

I can't believe I still haven't check in on the Pet Avengers' most recent storyline.  A couple weeks ago, Chris Eliopoulos wrote and drew a one-page story titled "Gnu Recruit" in I Am An Avenger #1, which featured two of the Pet Avengers (Frog Thor and Ms. Lion) debating the inclusion of a new team member.  I wondered in my last Pet Avenger-themed blog entry whether or not the new Pet Avenger would be a sleeper suggestion.  I was close.  Ms. Lion was proposing a new member to Frog Thor, but Throg would hear nothing of it.  In fact, he rejected this prospective member without consulting any of the other Pet Avengers.  More on that in a bit.

I actually agreed with Frog Thor's decision, even if I don't agree with his reasons.  The rejected Pet Avenger ended up being Wolverine.  Besides the fact that Wolverine's not anyone's pet, he belongs to three active team books at the moment (X-Men, X-Force, and Avengers) and has been a member of even more in the past (Fantastic Four, Alpha Flight, Weapon-X, etc.), it's about time someone put their foot down (or in this case, their flipper).  Have you ever seen that A&E show, Hoarders?  That's what Wolverine's become.  The guy who can't clear his cupboard of super-teams.  He'd join the Lady Liberators, if they'd take him.  It's not healthy and Frog Thor's to be commended for saying no.

But Frog Thor could have been kinder when he brought down the hatchet.  He's a better frog than he was in this story.  Maybe he was just having a bad day.  Consider the evidence:

A tail?  Lacking a tail is all it takes to get the boot from the Pet Avengers?  Throg might want to look check out his own behind next time he's near a mirror.  Frogs don't have tails.  One might argue that frogs start off as tadpoles with tails, but even then Frog Thor would be in trouble.  He was never a tadpole.  He might be the Frog of Thunder now, but he started life as a man.  A man without a tail:

Simon Walterson was a college football player with a promising future. One day he was injured during a game and was told he could never play again. He (met and fell) in love with a woman shortly after. They married and had the beginning of a great life together. They devoted their lives to helping others. They gave food to the homeless and organized rallies in support.

One day Simon's wife was taken from him. His heart was broken. Not knowing how he could live without her, he sought out any mystic and fortunetellers he could find. None seemed able to allow him one last chance to speak to his wife. The last mystic knew things that only he knew of his wife. She informed him that she was pregnant when she died. This broke Simon's heart even more. When the mystic asked for her payment, Simon had no more money to offer. For this, she put a curse upon him and he turned into a frog.

Simon made his way to Central Park where he landed in the middle of a war between frogs and rats. He was saved by the other frogs who gave him the name "Puddlegulp." Soon another brave frog came upon them and defeated all the rats. When this noble frog left, Puddlegulp noticed some rats had survived and were following him. Puddlegulp had to warn the brave heroic frog.

Puddlegulp discovered that the frog was, in fact, Thor, the god of thunder. His goats had arrived to take him back to Asgard. Puddlegulp was left alone when the rats came out of hiding. All he had to defend himself was a sliver of Thor's hammer (that was accidentally chipped off by one of Thor's goats). The sliver was heavy but Puddlegulp used all his might. When it struck the ground, he was transformed and was given the power of Thor.

He now goes by the name Throg.

I agree with Frog Thor in spirit, but his reasoning seems oddly hypocritical given his own origin.  But whatever work, eh?

So, ultimately there was no "gnu" Pet Avenger.  Which means there's still time to offer your thoughts on who should actually become the newest Pet Avenger: Brightwind the winged horse, Dogpool the unbreakable mercenary dog, or Tippy-Toe the ever-ready squirrel.  Tippy-Toe currently holds the lead, but a lot can happen in two days.