Friday, October 21, 2011

Zombies Invade Cedar Falls

Earlier this week, the undead invaded downtown Cedar Falls, IA.  From the description of this article, it appears that it wasn't just limited to zombified people.  According to The Northern Iowan, there was at least one ghoulish pet:
"I don't know most of these people very well, but we have something in common – we're zombies...," Dave Deibler said on Saturday. Deibler..., along with numerous other "zombified" students, participated in the first College Hill Zombie Walk on Oct. 15 at 5 p.m. in front of Mohair Pear. The walk looped around the College Hill area and ended at the Other Place restaurant. When the "undead" reached the OP, a best zombie contest took place... A zombified dog accompanied the group...

During the walk, the undead crew moved and acted en masse. When a city bus was stopped at a stop sign, the entire mob swarmed the bus, taunting those inside with grunts, screams and demands for brains. When a couple was filling up their tires with air at Kwik Star, the crew got close enough to touch them. All of this was done cooperatively with no one leading and no one following, as if they had lost their sense of humanity.

Three zombie teens —Jordyn Good, Claire Philips, and Jennifer Dannini, all sophomores at Waterloo West High School — participated in the walk. Their favorite part was attacking the bus...

Although there were many zombies that participated in the zombie walk, there were a few zombie hunters as well. Nate Lawrence-Richards and Ben Ahlschwede were part of that faction. They were first-time hunters and came up with the idea the night before, inspired by the thought of actually having to pack up for a real zombie apocalypse. "I would grab (weapons), sleeping bags, tent, load everything in a golf bag and go Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on everybody," said Ahlschwede...
This horrifying assault on Cedar Falls clearly demonstrates the ever-present danger that Iowa faces each and every time the undead swarm up from whatever hell they call home.  Can you imagine the pure horror experienced by those innocently riding home on the city bus only to face the reality of rotting fiends?  I can only assume that the number of causalities were limited and the invasion itself halted at the Other Place restaurant due to the hard work and dedication of zombie hunters like Lawrence-Richards and Ahlschwede.

Once again, the people of Iowa need to wake up and fight the undead.  Even today, I've learned of two planned attacks by zombies: one in West Des Moines and one right here in Iowa City just last night at a planned "zombie masquerade ball".  Not only that, but apparently downtown Iowa City has been invaded by what some are calling the "Muscatine River Monster".  Supposedly, it brings good luck to communities where it appears.  Of course, first it needs to eat its weight in hapless souls.  Iowa is a scary place these days.  First came the zombies and then the monsters.  I cannot imagine what form of monstrosity we will be descended upon by next.

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