Thursday, December 1, 2011

Would You Support Your Heterosexual Daughter's Marriage to a Gay Man?

Michele Bachmann got into a debate with a high school student sometime in the very recent past. Here is a partial transcript of the conversation:
JANE SCHMIDT: One of my main concerns is government support for the LGBT community. So my question is what would you do to protect GSAs in high school and support the LGBT community.
BACHMANN: Well, No. 1, all of us as Americans have the same rights. The same civil rights. And so that’s really what government’s role is, to protect our civil rights. There shouldn’t be any special rights or special set of criteria based upon people’s preferences. We all have the same civil rights.
JANE SCHMIDT: Then, why can’t same-sex couples get married?
BACHMANN: They can get married, but they abide by the same law as everyone else. They can marry a man if they’re a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they’re a man.
JANE SCHMIDT: Why can’t a man marry a man?
BACHMANN: Because that’s not the law of the land.
JANE SCHMIDT: So heterosexual couples have a privilege.
BACHMANN: No, they have the same opportunity under the law. There is no right to same-sex marriage.
JANE SCHMIDT: So you won’t support the LGBT community?
BACHMANN: No, I said that there are no special rights for people based upon your sex practices. There’s no special rights based upon what you do in your sex life. You’re an American citizen first and foremost and that’s it.
Keep in mind that I've gotten into three different conversations with people about the idea that gay men and women already have the ability to legally marry in all fifty states... as long as they are marrying people of the opposite sex.  Marriage equality for gay couples, as observed in this discussion by Bachmann, is seen as a special right and "there are no special rights for people based upon (their) sex practices" -- unless you are heterosexual.

People throw out that "we all have the same right to marry people of the opposite sex" comment like it's nothing.  But imagine that your daughter came home and told you that she's getting married to a gay man.  Would you encourage that marriageSeriously?  I'm really curious how many people actually would encourage their heterosexual son or daughter or cousin or neighbor or co-worker to marry a gay person.  Call Dr. Laura's satellite radio show and ask her about this.  Or go on Divorce Court now that they do pre-marital programs and see if the judge supports this type of marriage.  In most cases, it's not going to happen.

I actually know of one case where it did happen.  A het woman that I know got involved with a church and met a guy who was struggling with "same-sex attraction" (hate that term) and drug addiction.  The pastor of that small evangelical church pressured the two into marrying as a way of modifying his behavior.  Five years and two kids later, they break up, she's a single mom, and he's dating men.  Unless both fiances are walking into mixed-orientation marriages with their eyes wide open, I really don't encourage them.  And even then, I'm not so certain.

I absolutely hate it when the marriages of gay and lesbian people are termed as "special rights" in one breath and then in the second breath the marriages of heterosexuals are held up for special rights and status.  Half the time, I don't think that people get it.  Most of the time, I don't think people really care.  They want their families protected and they want a cute tag line to use to deny gay families the rights, responsibilities, and protections that we also deserve as tax-paying citizens of this country.

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