Sunday, April 15, 2012
Hilary Rosen/"Working Mom" Dust-Up Reveals Larger Conflict about Gay Adoption and Parenting
It started out with Catholic League spokesman Bill Donohue who predictably tweeted "Lesbian Dem Hilary Rosen tells Ann Romney she never worked a day in her life. Unlike Rosen, who had to adopt kids, Ann raised 5 of her own."
Donahue was quickly reproached by RNC communications director Sean Spicer who tweeted "The @catholicleague should be encouraging adoption, not demeaning the parents who are blessed to raise these children". Of course, he quickly revoked any sense of good will towards gay and lesbian adoptive parents (and for that matter single adoptive parents -- gay or straight -- of whom there are many) by adding "that is not what i said RT @drdigipol: Love it RNC's @Seanspicer" and subsequently "I agree w that RT @JoeyMcGoebbels @catholicleague they only believe children deserve a mother and a father!".
I've read other articles and blogs attacking Rosen's sexuality, her mental health, and her commitment as a mother. Interspersed with much of it is a general attitude that gay parenting is inferior.
I understand that Rosen messed up with what she said about Ann Romney and her status as a "working mom (AKA full-time homemaker). I understand that she is a public person with political connections to the DNC. And I understand that it is part of the political cycle that we live with that these types of stories have the tendency to blow up and live on for a while.
But I object to the broader implication of adoption parenting being less than birth parenting. I object to the notion that gay and lesbian couples, as well as single parents, are inferior choices to heterosexual couples.
Like any other parents, we love our children and they love us. Our children have a good home and adequate financial resources. We have firm rules and consistent discipline. We laugh. We console. We sometimes get upset. We apologize and make amends, when needed. They learn about the world around them from us and we definitely learn more about the world through their questions.
Our boys don't do well despite having gay dads. They do well AND they have gay dads.
Catholic League and the RNC and every other right wing blogger can minimize the legitimize gay families all they want. The fact is that they have no clue. They have only talking points. Gay and lesbian families are assessed and studied all the time and these studies consistently reveal that the children of gay and lesbian parents are no better and no worse off than the children of heterosexual parents.
Attack Hilary Rosen all you want. She's a big girl in Washington DC with thick skin who's used to political backs-and-forths. But leave every day gay dads, lesbian moms, and our kids out of this fight. We didn't say anything about Ann Romney and our kids don't deserve political potshots from RNC operatives.