Sunday, November 23, 2014

Open Response to the People Who Want Gay Couples to Know that They Disapprove of Marriage Equality

I wrote yesterday about Ryan Buell's engagement. If you go onto his Facebook account, you will find well over 2,000 comments following that announcement. Most of those people are congratulating him and/or asking for the identity of his fiance. A couple snarky individuals are asking about money still owed to fans following a canceled tour.

But then there are a handful of individuals who want Ryan to know that they do not agree with same-sex marriage. Because Ryan Buell is going to go out of his way to cancel his wedding if any complete stranger objects to his relationship and future marriage. (That was snark, by the way...)

Anyway, I responded to one of those commenters. She wanted Ryan to know that "my Bible says marriage is between one man and one woman so not sure what Bible u are is also says homeosexulaity is punishable by death- God forgives pretty much everythng but u cant ask forgiveness and still keep sinniing the same sin over and over- I am a christian and not perfect- I make mistakes- we are all a work in progress but when the Bible says something is not "right" I have to beleive it- and for u to use the Bible in your ghost shows etc just shows u are picking and choosing what parts of the Bible to follow." (Note: I could have corrected her horrendous spelling, but it was more satisfying to leave it alone.)

She then went on to tell people that we don't follow any of the Old Testament except for the ten commandments since Jesus' birth, but then cited the sin of Sodom.

To which I replied, "Sodom? I thought we weren't to worry about the Old Testament..."

To which she responded that "Sodom was a town- sodomy is anal sex and technically illegal in many states are u that uneducated?"

To which I quote Ezekiel 16:49: "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." (Note: If I'd been on my game, I would have added verse 50, also: "They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.")

I then responded to her comment about anal sex being illegal in many states: "As for anal sex being illegal in many state, "Lawrence v. Texas" in 2003 struck down those laws. Are u that uneducated?" (Note: That last question was a cheap shot, but it felt good.)

She then got fed up with me and said: "there is no talking to a person like u Jon so I will say a prayer and be done with it." (Note: That comment elicited an LOL from me -- both online and out loud.)

Except that she wasn't "done with it." She posted a link to a six month old USA Today article that points out that 12 states technically still have anti-sodomy laws on the books despite the U.S.S Supreme Court's "Lawrence v. Texas" ruling.

I told her that I would like to see those laws stand up to a court challenge, which resulted in the following comment from her: "states have their own laws - they dont have to follow federal laws- where have u been?" (Note: That's Joni Ernst logic. Don't believe me? Check out this piece. I know a handful of Iowa Republicans who voted against her specifically for that reason. Not that it did any good...)

I LOL'ed again and pointed out that those sodomy laws were unconstitutional. "They might be on the books, but they aren't constitutional. The very article that you linked me to showed how men recently charged with "crimes against nature" had their charges dismissed by the prosecution because those laws were unenforceable. Did you read the article that you referred me to?"

Anyway, that's how the conversation ended. Or at least, that's where it stands at the present.

But I can't help wondering why people feel the need to tell gay people that they object to our marriages when we announce our engagements? Others wish us well. And others beyond them are polite enough to mind their own business. But I don't get how it's socially acceptable to respond to a "we're getting married(!)" message with a "I don't agree with gay marriage and you need to get right with God" response.

Ryan's family has disowned him over this relationship and he's still getting married. Do these people seriously believe that their opinions -- opinions of complete strangers -- will cause him to break off his engagement and relationship? Or any of us gay couples, for that matter?

So next time you learn that a gay person is getting married, do the right thing and either wish them well or mind your own business. Anything else is just rude.

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