Thursday, August 6, 2015

Rep. Steve King Was Wrong // You Cannot Legally Marry a Lawnmower

Remember when Congressman Steve King said that people can now legally marry their lawnmowers now that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage? It seemed like a silly assertion, but Pat Rynard of Iowa Starting Line decided that this opportunity was too good to pass over.

He dug his lawnmower out of the garage and the two of them rushed over to the Polk County Recorder's office in Des Moines, IA. However, he ran into problems getting his marriage license processed. It seems that Congressman King forgot to tell Polk County Recorder Julie Haggerty that it was okay for people to marry objects. She ultimately turned Rynard away.

Here's a transcript of their interaction:
Rynard: Hi Julie, so I came by the Recorder’s office today because I want to get a marriage license. For myself and my lawnmower. 

Haggerty: Ok, the answer to that would be no. First of all – well, I should back up a bit and say how old is your lawnmower? 

Rynard: Maybe six or seven years. 

Haggerty: You have to be 18 years old to get a marriage license. And the other person, the other party needs to be able to sign a contract, has to have a government ID, and has to be able to have a witness who says they can enter into a contract. So I think on those counts alone you can’t marry your lawnmower. 

Rynard: Now is it because I’m already married to a woman? Would I have to divorce her first? With the stuff Steve King is saying, it seems like everything is fair game now. 

Haggerty: See, I should probably have asked that question first, are you married? Because if you’re still married, obviously you can’t enter into a contract

 Rynard: Ok, so no marriage with my lawnmower? 

Haggerty: No marriage because you’re married, and no marriage with a lawnmower because it’s an inanimate object. You cannot marry a lawnmower

Rynard: What about a snow blower? 

Haggerty: [shakes head no]
You can watch the entire video here.

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