Monday, February 27, 2017
"Finding Bigfoot" Comes to Iowa
For example, there was this twangy bango music playing in the background. Because it's Iowa. And then we viewers were told that "there's more than just corn in these fields" -- which is true, but they were filming in prairie land that completely lacked any sign of corn. And that was just the first minute of the program.
The show kept mentioning that they were filming in Iowa for the very first time. These folks want us to know that they have never been in Iowa ever before. They want you to know that Iowa is this barren flatland filmed with nothing but cornfields. Corn and deer. Corn and deer. Corn and deer. They spent the first several minutes talking about how there is nothing in Iowa but corn and deer. Meanwhile, they are driving in the northeast corner of the state, surrounded by bluffs and into the Yellow River State Forest. Plus, they just aired episodes set in Minnesota and Wisconsin -- two states within quick driving distance to where they were investigating.
Once the four "Finding Bigfoot" investigators stopped talking about all of the corn, they met up with representatives of the Iowa BFRO (Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization). One interesting note, I learned last night that one of my friends is friends with one of the Iowa BFRO leaders.
Turns out that the Yellow River State Forest area is a hotspot of Bigfoot activity, according to the Iowa BFRO. After listening to a variety of sasquatch testimonials, the "Finding Bigfoot" investigators teamed with the Iowa BFRO leadership to wander through the trails where thermal gear.
After wandering around for a while, Bobo picked up what could only be a Bigfood on thermal camera. The "Finding Bigfoot" folks then told us that they heard weird stomping noises -- that inconveniently didn't show up on the television mics -- before calling it a night and returning to their tents.
*Cue the techno-bango transition music*
A group then went off into the woods the next morning to investigate the area where one BFRO member thermal-scanned a bigfoot. Turns out that this image most likely isn't a sasquatch.
Later, they spent some time with BFRO member Valerie, who shared how she encountered possibly twenty bigfeet in the campground area late one night. Turns out that the red glow from the squatchy eyes was most likely lightning bugs.
The "Finding Bigfoot" folks then decided to do a series of individual nighttime squatch searches. This search rewarded our crew with distant roar -- but I couldn't figure out if they were genuine roars or if the researchers were just picking up sounds from other researchers roaring in the distance.
At one point, Matt began noticing something coming towards him. He saw what appeared to be two young squatches that were climbing a tree, until he realized that it was instead a bunch of squirrels. I kid you not.
Then Bobo noticed something upright that was bobbing back and forth between the trees. Could it be a sasquatch?
We were then treated to another sasquatch testimonial. This one involved an Iowa BFRO member who was found himself spied upon by a bigfoot while he slept in the back of his vehicle. The "Finding Bigfoot" crew decided that this particular story was most likely legit.
They then split into two groups for one final nighttime investigation. Cliff, Matt, and Bobo immediately began hearing weird squealing noises and breaking branches. Soon enough, the ground-based investigators find a human-shaped thermal scan -- that turns out to be a human. Basically, the night was a bust.
*Cut the banjo music and Iowa puns*
And that's a summary of Iowa's encounter with the "Finding Bigfoot" cast and crew.
Don't get me wrong. I love bigfoot. I've loved bigfoot since I was a kid. I want to believe that bigfoot is real. But I just don't see how bigfoot could be real in today's world of deforestation and urban sprawl. Even in Iowa.
Did you watch "The Squatchland?" I want to hear your reaction. Shared your thoughts in the comments section below.