It has been said that in marriage, the pain and stress of divorce is greater than even the pain of losing a spouse to death. I believe the same can be said of breaking ties with your child. Unless one has experienced this kind of loss and grief, they cannot fully understand the depth of pain experienced by a parent.
Someone may ask, “Why would anyone break ties with her own child?” The answer is, “loyalty to Jesus.” Being a disciple of Jesus demands our relationship to him be greater than our relationship to our own family, even our own children (Matthew 10:37).It seems that their wonderful son -- her son with an infectious laugh who sang beautifully and spent time bonding over cooking projects and home schooling activities -- succumbed to some unspecified sin. What's the sin? It doesn't matter, according to Blogger-Mom. Sin is sin. Her beloved son gave in to sin and that's enough to cut him off. Meanwhile, she wants the world to know that she is grieving for the son that exiled.
Here's the deal though. It turns out that the world actually knows about her son's secret sin. He's a gay man. In fact, her son just got gay-married. And Blogger-Mom wrote her article about surrendering her son to Satan on his wedding day.
I'm piecing together stories, but I'm learning that Blogger-Mom kicked her son out of the family home when he was a teen. According to one source, he ended up being raised by a friend's family. According to Blogger-Mom's new son-in-law, they maintain an open-door invitation to the son's family. But they have no real relationship with Blogger-Mom or the rest of the family.
I was recently on GCN and read a question about LGBT people and allies boycotting events at anti-gay churches. For example, refusing to go to a child's baptism when invited because it is taking place at an anti-gay church. On the face of it, it seems rude for LGBT people and allies to refuse these types of invitations.
On the other hand, it's actually pretty rare that gay-affirming people "boycott" non-affirming events. Much more often, it's the other way around. For example, at least two relatives did not attend my own wedding because of religious disagreement. I wasn't happy about it, but was told to suck it up. Which I have, but it's still one of those festering irritants for me.
It's actually pretty common -- though not quite as much, fortunately -- for people to "boycott" gay weddings because of religious disagreement. I'm aware of funerals where people have "boycotted" or where venues have canceled because they learned of a gay spouse, or because the person had AIDS, or because the person was a trans person. I'm aware of churches that refuse to baptize our kids. I'm aware of religious schools that expel our kids because they have gay kids.
LGBT people routinely get "boycotted." And while it's largely okay to do, we need to do more to remind people that it's really not *okay* to do. It's rude. It's hurtful. It's shameful. And you shouldn't get patted on the back because you're upset over your gay son's wedding ceremony.
Here is some advice, Blogger-Mom: Time is short. You have cut your son out of your life. You have missed his wedding. You are missing out on developing a relationship with her new step-daughter. You are missing out on every future milestone and achievement in his life. You can blame him for your decision to cut him out, but the end result is that he is gay and he is married. And even though things didn't turn out the way you envisioned, this is the reality of his life. And no amount of public pouting and public shaming will force him to come crawling back into your life.
You should seriously take stock of your own life-choices and beg your son for forgiveness.